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It stays in the closet...

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Things; stuff all around in the closet may not be a big deal to some. To others the closet may be cluttered. Some closets are big and some are so small that half of ones wardrobe does not fit in the closet. Closets are useful. Its the small unforeseen area in a house that gets overlooked. No one would expect to find the most precious memories, a persons life, or even that one teddy bear that at one point had meaning.        I feel this post will be more different than all my others. I have been having such a longing to write about my closet and the meaning that comes with. My closet does not have bodies or anything worrisome; just that it contains lifetimes of memories that seem like stuff to the naked eye.     As some of you know my son passed away in 2018. I remember the urgency I felt going through his mementos. How anxious I was because even though our lives were turned upside down that did not mean a thing to time. Time would not stand still for us to grieve; to continue to
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The Awakening

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Guys I have MIA! But I am back! I am so excited to share something with you. It's pretty great and I have to brag on God a little bit. Have you ever been like, "Ok God, if you say so, but I'm trusting in you" or "Really Lord? That's not me and I don't feel comfortable doing that"? Step out and put all analytics aside. What are you afraid of when God guides you, speaks to you or even nudges you. Which response will you give? Believe me when I say it is so difficult to trust the unseen. STORY TIME! So, last week I went to youth camp with our church youth group. What a great experience! A lot of things were happening and you could just see God move. Incredible! Little did I know that was the time God was going to move in me. I love working with the youth. They are so inquisitive on things that can be a challenge. They're hungry for more and I love it! One night we had baptisms. I was conversing with one of my girls and next thing I
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Understanding Grief...You can't

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The title is the message itself.  Grief. What do we actually know about it? Most associate it with death. I could be wrong. I don't keep stats on this stuff.  The true definition of grief is keen mental suffering or distress over affliction or loss; sharp sorrow; painful regret. The true definition of grieve or grieving is to feel grief or great sorrow (used without object). To distress mentally; cause to feel grief or sorrow (used with object). Time will heal the broken...insert laughter... Time will not heal. Actually, time only hurts. I have been told, 'But your not trusting in the Lord to get you through'....Can I just say that people mean well. They do and I do not expect them to understand. I actually tell them I don't wish they would try to understand. I still can't wrap my head around the fact that I have lost a son. It is very unreal.  Time will not heal. I say that because there are so many days I wake up and it feels like my son just took hi
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Not everyday has to be a Strong day

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I love this. No matter how small we can conquer all with God on our side. Not every day has to be a strong day. Powerful right? I love this saying and the meaning behind it. I know I haven't posted in a little while but I know you didn't miss me that much. Tonight I was quickly reminded that not every day has to be a strong day. This week has been emotionally rough. ROUGH. Tonight, I hit a breaking point. My breaking point consisted of hugging my daughter, then going to the bathroom, closing the door and hyperventilating because I am crying so much. If that's not a breaking point then I have no clue what is. This week I have missed my son like no other. I believe it's just coming so surreal of forgetting things. His voice, touch, smell, and other small things about him. OH his shoes. He loved his shoes and was always proud of them. But last night while at church I had a few things that happened. One thing didn't bother me but it was something after t
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When OK is not OK

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A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away..... I'm not a Star Wars fan and you can ask my pastor how knowledgeable I am when it comes to that stuff but....Seriously though, a few years ago, home away from childhood home, I worked in a great loving environment. I loved my job.One day my boss came to me and gave me a passage saying I needed to read this and come up with a way to change how I talked with the public. Um, Excuse me, I'm a sweet southern belle who respects people and will give them my very last penny, if I had one at the time. But I had a habit. A habit that can be detrimental in a 911 situation and yes, I did answer 911 phone calls. My habit? Saying okay when it's not okay.  To me I was saying okay to let them know I was acknowledging them but I was being complained on because they didn't feel as if I was listening to them or brushing them off. Not caring. I did care about all the calls I had taken and I thought I was really good at my job. It w
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Desserts over Stress.... YES

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I am making my FIRST ever desserts blog! Wow I'm so excited about this one. I hope this helps you more than it helped me. Honestly, you may already know what this may be about. DO NOT BE A SPOILER!  So first thing we say to someone is 'Hey! How are you?' because it just comes so natural. Our normal responses are the following:  Ugh! Stressed out. Fine (women, you know when you say fine you're not). I'm okay. Just tired. Running late! Bye! last but not least the usual, I'm good. How are you? A friend of mine and I were talking one day about how life is just stressful. She then told me that every time someone asks her how she is doing she says, (ready this is the good part) "Life is sweet!" Of course I looked at her and was puzzled (I should've been blonde). She then told me to spell Desserts backwards...... Cute pic right? I was having some desserts.. HA! So are you catching the drift? Desserts spelled backward
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Tell Me More About Your Cure

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This post may step on toes and it may offend someone. If it does then please think about who your hurting when you have that thought about pushing a "solution" on someone that has a medical condition or has a child with one. My group of Facebook peeps and twitter knows that I'm a childhood cancer advocate. Why (for the ones of you that don't know)? Well, I'm so glad you asked because I would like to share with you. My son was diagnosed with a type of cancer that only affects 3% of the United States population. It is called Rhabdomyosarcoma. Say that 5 times fast. I wanted to share something, not just about my son, but something I believe needs to have some spot light on. The reason...... I'm seeing so much of it every day on social media and still receive messages DAILY. But first, I want to show my beautiful family off.  L-R: Koltyn, Kirra, William, Chris (Husband/Dad), Eleanor, Zack I did good and God is AWESOME! On with my "venting&
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